My Little Jonah,
I dreamed about you before you ever came to be. After your brother left us for heaven you were all I could think about at times. The surprise of you that cold December night felt right. I was overwhelmed with peace about you. That regardless of the number of your days, God had created you for his glory and purpose. I knew that even if you never drew breath in this world that you were being knit together and infinitely loved by the one creating you. You are not an accident nor a replacement. God planned you long ago and gave you to me that December day.
We saw you on an ultrasound screen within 24 hours of your heart beating for the first time. You were the size of a tiny lentil bean and yet we could hear your heart beat and watch it flicker. What a miracle! I look at you and know God is forming you with his very hands. Designed, planned, and wanted by Him.
At 12 weeks you were the size of a lime and yet we saw you. Some of the same mannerism you have now we could see back then. The way you snuggle your hands over your face like your sister and show off your manhood like your brother. We quickly learned you were a boy. At 12 weeks we knew the God of the entire universe was growing you into a man made in His very own image. How incredible!
By 19 weeks you were the size of a tomato (12.9cm) Yet look at you! We could already see so much of who you were going to be. Those sweet little hands were still snuggled to your face. At this visit, the doctors were checking you and me for any signs of things that were wrong. Everything came back picture perfect. The thing is, no matter how God chose to form you, you would be perfect. God doesn’t make mistakes. Ever.
By 23 weeks you weighed a pound and I started to be able to feel you moving around more frequently. The anterior placenta really hid a lot of your movements but I felt you in and Daddy could you feel you from the outside. You have two of the strongest big brothers I know. I’m taking a guess you’ll be just as tough as they are. We also had an echo performed on your heart at this time and everything came back normal. I have prayed every day since that God would pursue your heart and you would invite him in. Oh how He loves you and longs for you to love him!
At 30 weeks you were weighing 3 pounds. Everything still looked picture perfect and we were told to start getting ready for you and came up with a birth plan. They wanted you to be born at 37 weeks so I didn’t go into labor on my own and have you at home. When I saw you on the screen I expected you to look just like Josiah. While you do look like him, you are also a mixture of your other siblings and some things that are uniquely you.
My little Jonah, I hope you can see from the very beginning you were perfectly created. You my son have a purpose on this earth and you are here for a reason. My prayer for you is that you will humble yourself before Him and offer yourself up to him. A living sacrifice to do His will in your life. He has great plans for you. Acknowledge Him in everything you do, think, feel and he promises to make your path straight. I look ahead to your future and cannot help but fear the world you will grow up in. A world where the most innocent of life is disregarded and a mother’s womb is no longer the safest place for a baby to grow. Yet I know you were created for such a time as this. May you bring the message of unspeakable joy and perfect peace to those who have not yet placed their trust in God.
Jonah, the world is waiting for you. ♥
Love,
Your Proud Momma